Eli had been having a rough weekend with not eating, but had rebounded on Sunday with devouring all of his breakfast and dinner.  He spent the evening walking the pastures and laying down intermittently like he had so many other nights.  The thought of losing him had not even entered our minds.  When we went to feed him his breakfast, it was apparent that something was wrong.  He greeted us with a loud nay, which was unusual because you could barely hear him call even if you were standing right next to him.  He turned his nose up at his food and started walking away.  As we followed, we watched him misstep, we were now positive that he was in trouble.  As it turned out, we were right.

The details of Eli’s passing are too personal to share, but what we do want to express are the feelings that have come with his loss.  The overwhelming emotion that we have felt since Monday is that we failed.  We not only failed our supporters, but more importantly we failed Eli.  For one year we battled to make him feel comfortable.  Between his severe arthritis, that months before had made us question if we were doing right by him, to the melanoma that grew to the size of a grapefruit, it was a daily struggle, but we had been winning.  He was able to roam the pastures that he so loved without being in pain.  The head bobbing and limping were gone and he was able to move majestically as he was meant to.

Eli had paid his dues of being a plow horse and we should have been able to give him more than just a few short months of happiness.  We had a mission and that was to find him a forever home, where he could spend the next several years happy.  As it turned out, we were to be the ones that would offer him the comfort and love that he so deserved.  It was an honor laying with him as he got his ice treatments, listening to him coo as he ate his meals and watching him fall asleep as we gave him baths.

People have told us that we made a difference in Eli’s life and deep down we know that.  For right now though, we can’t stop thinking about how much more we should have been able to do.  Moving forward our mission will not change, to rescue, rehabilitate, retrain and re-home the horses that we rescue.  For those horses like Eli, the rescue will be their forever home where they can live out their lives, for however long that will be, loved.